Trust me. Trust in my plan.
There was no warning, none at all. At speeds of 70 miles per hour on that race course at Winter Park, I felt my binding come loose. The snap of my ski was loud as I went head first into the hard, icy snow. Within the blink of an eye it was over, fast and painless. No tears, no fear, nothing. I had died.
When I woke up I was in a beautiful garden with red and pink flowers. The flowers were so dense that I could not see the green stems that were obviously holding them up. As I stood waste deep I noticed the color of the flowers. I recognized red and pink but it was a different red and a different pink that I had never seen before. The colors were more brilliant, bright and prettier than any red or pink I had seen here, on earth.
This garden was magnificent. I remember knowing that I was in the middle of it but I do not know how I knew I was in the middle because it was so big that I could not see the ends of it. This garden was massive and the most beautiful and perfect garden I had ever seen. The flowers were all the same size and length and each one seemed to sparkle in the white light.
As I looked down at my outstretched left arm I noticed my three little freckles that form a somewhat triangle pattern by my elbow. I had my body! My body, however, was different. It was not broken, shattered or unharmed. This new body was pure and healthy but it still resembled my old body that was lifeless in the ski patrols arms.
I felt happy and at peace. The peace I felt was so amazing and I cannot fully describe it. Just think of a place with no tears, no pain, no sin, nothing bad and that is what I felt, complete happiness. I felt nothing but pure joy.
As I looked up I recognized a familiar face. It was my grandfather who I call PopPop. PopPop had died several months before from a stroke and now I was with him again. He didn't look like the stroke victim from when I last saw him on earth. No, he looked younger and healthier. It seemed that PopPop had been out in the sun before my accident happened because his face had color.
PopPop was smiling at me. He had a welcoming grin and I knew that he loved me very much. He was there with me and he wanted me to know that I was okay and safe. There were no words spoken between me and PopPop but there didn't need to be. I knew that he was there to help me and to be with me while I sorted things out. I knew that I was loved and safe so there really didn't need to be words.
I remember looking around and I saw a white light. The light was like the sun and lit up the heavens but there is no sun in Heaven. There is just a white light. The white light was filled with love. I think the Holy Spirit is in this light and it just surrounds you and comforts you. It brings peace and warmth. This light was the most beautiful light I had ever seen and it made me feel so safe.
There was a powerful presence. This presence was God and His love and patients and forgiveness surrounded all of Heaven. I never saw God but I knew that He was off to my right because that is where I felt Him the strongest. He was all over Heaven but God was standing off to my right, like behind my right shoulder.
The feeling of forgiveness was like having thousands of pounds lifted from you. Every single sin and every bad thing that happened to me no longer mattered. It was like a dry erase board, gone forever. Literally everything that happened to me on earth that was bad no longer existed. Poof it was gone and I was forgiven. I no longer cared about the pain I suffered throughout my life because it was literally stripped from me and no longer a memory.
There were words that came to me shortly after feeling all bad things being wiped out. God's voice was gentle and kind. He knew that I had a decision to make, the biggest decision of my life. Never did God pressure me or push me one way or the other. Not once did I feel like I was forced to make a decision. This decision was mine and only mine to make but no matter what God was going to be by my side through it all.
I heard loud and clear His words. God calls us by name and said,"Aubrie, I have a plan. My plan is perfect. Trust me. Trust in my plan." He then went on to say,"I have a plan for if you go or if you stay. Trust me." I knew that no matter what decision I made that I needed to trust God with everything and not worry.
Of course I was concerned for my family, for I was leaving them behind. My decision was to stay with God and my grandfather. No way was I going to come back but I did think of my family. God knew that I did not want to leave my family behind so He talked to me about my family and showed me a glimpse of my funeral.
God told me that my family would be taken care of and that they would not be sad forever. He reassured me that He would bring happiness back in my parents lives and in my brothers lives again and that life would go on. I would be missed but I wouldn't be mourned forever because my family would know that I was safe in Heaven.
Well, I remember making what I thought was my final decision to stay. I was literally one second from leaving earth behind for good. I do not know how I was only a second away but I was. I had started to walk off with my grandfather and that is when I heard my mothers voice.
"Aubrie, come back. Please open your eyes. Please come back," she said with a sadness that I had never heard before. I felt her holding my left hand then faster than the speed of light I snapped back into my shattered body in the hospital.
During my recovery I was told that I would never ski again. I was lucky enough to even be walking but my injuries were severe and the doctors said that I would never step foot into another binding. God had other plans though and within weeks after my accident I was back up on skis.
Bad things happen in this life. Things do not always go our way. When the unexpected happens remember that God is in control. God has a plan and His plan is perfect. It is important to trust in God's plan and to allow God to make things right again. If we follow Jesus and we trust that He will heal and make things good then we can live full, successful and happy lives. Just trust. Trust God and trust His plan, for it is perfect.