Aubrie Mindock

Professional skier, author of "When I Saw Heaven" and "Back Up On Skis," Olympic hopeful

The Male Victims of Domestic Violence

When we think of victims of domestic violence we often think of women. We perceive women as the weaker sex and men as the stronger sex. Women are often the focus when it comes to teaching self defense and she is taught from the minute she is born that it is never okay for a man to put his hands on her. 

When a boy is born he is taught to never put his hands on a woman and if he does it is considered assault or domestic violence, depending on the relationship. From the minute a boy is born he is brought into a world where women are seen as the majority of domestic violence victims and men are seen as the aggressors. 

Boys are taught that if they put their hand on a woman then they will be in trouble and that it is never okay for a man under any circumstances to touch a woman. The question is though, what if the woman is assaulting him? What if she is the aggressor and he is the victim?

Domestic violence does happen to men and women can be aggressors. It does not matter if you are a man or a woman, you have the right to protect yourself and defend yourself. The problem is however, if a man does defend himself against a woman she is still seen as the victim. 

If a woman is hitting a man and cussing him out and threatening him and he puts his hands on her in self defense people are quick to ask what he did to make her go off. This is so wrong and not okay. A man who is being smacked around by a woman should never have to feel like he is silenced just because he is a male. Men have every right to defend themselves against an aggressive, threatening and abusive woman and men should not have to fear repercussions because they defended themselves. 

As you know I am a woman and I survived a domestic violence situation by my ex boyfriend, Eric. Eric was extremely aggressive, controlling and an alcoholic. September 14th, 2016 Eric brought a gun to my home in an attempted murder/suicide. When he realized that he could not kill me he shot himself on my doorstep. 

I have spoken up about domestic violence and shared my story from a woman's point of view but I also realize and fully understand that women are not always the victim. Men can find themselves starring down the barrel of a gun by a crazy ex girlfriend. What happened to me can happen to a man too. It can happen to anyone. 

If a man is being stalked, threatened and abused by a girlfriend or ex girlfriend he has every right to be taken just as seriously as a woman in his situation would. Any man who is being physically harmed by a woman or threatened has the right to take the steps necessary to save his life, even if it means physically defending himself if she physically attacks him. 

When domestic violence happens to a woman people are often quick to help her and get her to safety. She is often taken seriously immediately and rescued. When it is a man it is often the opposite. Men are sometimes laughed at, called crazy and seen as wimps. Sometimes people even ask the man what he did to make the woman go off on him.

It does not matter if you are a man or woman. Domestic violence is never okay. It is never okay for a man to put his hands on a woman or threaten or stalk a woman and the same goes for the man. It's never okay for a man to be stalked, threatened or physically harmed by a woman.

Men deserve to be able to report domestic violence without the stigma of society. If a man is being physically harmed, controlled, threatened or stalked by a woman he has every right to report her and get to safety without feeling embarrassed or ashamed. 

Domestic violence is dangerous and scary for both men and women. It is traumatizing to have a person threaten you and your safety. No matter what your gender, you have the right to be safe and secure without stigma attached.