September 14, 2016 should have been the night of my death. My last breath should have been around 9:30 in the evening. That night I would have been dead, had Jason not been there to intervene and had God decided that it was my time to leave this earth.
My ex boyfriend, Eric, came to my home with a gun with the mindset that if he could not have me then no one could. He was angry with me because I finally got the nerve to tell and open up to people about what he was doing. He was upset that I was taken to the police and had reported him for years of abuse and stalking.
Eric never thought that I would go to the police. He thought he had me silenced and for the longest time, he did. There were times when I should have spoken up and asked for help but I didn't because I did not believe that anyone would help me. I stayed silent many times because I didn't know how to tell or who to tell or if this was just normal behavior for men. I was confused.
There were also times when I did try to tell. I did not always stay quiet. For the most part I just suffered in silence but there were a hand full of times where I tried to get help. Out of all the times Eric drank and threatened me I only tried to get help a few times. I stayed quiet the vast majority of the time out of fear. I also thought that Eric was a typical man and that all men were that way. Part of me didn't know better about how a man should be.
The last time I tried to tell was in Breckenridge. Eric and I were at a restaurant in Breckenridge and Eric was drinking a ton. He was slamming shots and drinks. When you drink you have to go to the bathroom. When Eric got up to leave I tried to tell off duty police officers but I was not taken seriously. I was told that Eric was a good guy and that I was lucky to have such a great man in my life.
That night was the last night I tried to tell. I would go through about another year in a half of Eric's abuse and drinking and stalking before I would tell again.
It was September 14, 2016 and I was tired of Eric stalking me. I had been broken up with Eric for over a year but he was just not leaving me alone. Eric had been over between the hours of 1:00 and 3:00 in the afternoon that day and I was so over it. All I wanted was for him to leave me alone.
I called my now husband and told him what happened. Jason and I were just dating at the time and he left work and came over to my home. He told me that I had two options. Either I go with him to the police station to report Eric for stalking and harassment or he calls the police and the police will come to the house.
I did not want the police to come to my home and have snoopy neighbors wondering what was up so I slowly walked out of my house and got in Jason's car.
During the car ride to the police station I kept telling Jason that the police were not going to take me seriously. I repeated over and over and over that the police were going to turn me away and tell me that Eric is a good guy. I had every reason to believe that because when I told in the past I was told that Eric was not who I was claiming he was.
To my surprise, the police did take me seriously and they called Eric to tell him to leave me alone. Eric was pissed that he could not silence me forever and later that night he came over with a gun. I lived, he died.
Sometimes I look back and wish I would have told. I wish I would have reached out and actually told until someone took me seriously but I didn't. I stayed quiet. Was it me staying quiet until the time was right that saved me? Maybe. I do not know why I did not reach out more or beg for help. I was scared and on the very rare occasion that I did tell people always had the same response. Everyone sided with Eric, which put me in even more danger.
It took a lot of strength to go to the police that September day. I was so scared to tell and fear struck through me like a knife. There are no words to describe my fear of reporting Eric for stalking, harassment and threats. It was one of the scariest things I have had to do, to report a deadly man. Eric was just that, deadly and dangerous.
Reaching out for help is not easy. It isn't easy to tell someone that you are being stalked or threatened. I had fears that Eric would act out and kill me if he found out that I had told. My fears were validated only about 3 hours after I did go to the police. He came to my home with a gun when he found out that I had reported him.
If you suspect someone is in danger and cannot speak out the best thing you can do is call the police. For your safety you can stay anonymous. Domestic violence is very scary and extremely deadly. Victims often cannot speak out because they know their fate if they do.
When I did try to tell I did so subtly so Eric would not catch on. I had to be sneaky when I did on the very rare occasion muster the courage to try to tell. There are many red flags and if you suspect anything then call the police. It is better to try to save a life than to have a life lost.