Eric's Abuse: Day's after my father passed
Highly graphic domestic violence: Reader discretion is advised for this article.
It was October 19th, 2014. My father had passed away only a few days prior on October 14th. I was hurting, like anyone would when they lose a parent to cancer. At 27 I felt that I got ripped off many more years and more good memories with my father. It was starting to hit me that I would never see my dad again and depression sunk in.
October 19th Eric decided to take me to the broncos game. We went out for dinner and I only had one glass of white wine. Eric had a couple glasses, of course. I begged Eric to not get drunk that night. I just wanted to chill out, watch the game and enjoy a break from all the pain I was put through over the last year, watching my father suffer. The game was supposed to be a break, a time to relax. Of course it turned out nothing like expected.
Eric and I got to the game and went to our seats. I did not see Eric the entire game. I do know that he spent the entire game drinking, going from bar to bar. By the time we were in the last quarter, Eric somehow found his way back to me, trashed. He was so drunk that I had to help him sit down. He couldn't see where his seat was and nearly sat on the man next to him.
Well, I knew where this night was going to go. By the time the game was over I had been sober for about six hours. The one glass of wine was well out of my system. Eric on the other hand was extremely drunk. I was not shocked that he was trashed. Actually, I expected it. Even though I pleaded with him and begged him to not drink after dinner, he didn't listen.
I remember walking back to our car and Eric and I got a little lost. We were not too far off but with Eric being so drunk I knew that calling an Uuber or getting a cab would be our best option. Eric however, kept screaming at me saying, "We are not calling Uuber and we are walking." I had no choice but to follow because I knew Eric all too well. When he got drunk it was all about him and what he wanted to do. There was no negotiating.
Well, we were basically walking in circles. I was following Eric, pleading with him to just call an Uuber. I knew the address of where we were parked but on foot it would be too dangerous walking there with a drunk man. It was much safer to just get Uuber but Eric kept insisting on walking. He was becoming angry at my requests to get a ride.
We made our way to a busy road. I could see the freeway from where we were at. There were vehicles entering the freeway. I could also see the signs to the exits. I knew where we were, right next to I25 and cars were going around 60 miles per hour.
Eric decided that we should cross onto the freeway. "I know where we are," he stated as he looked with demon eyes at me. I knew that Eric was not going to listen to me that we needed to turn around and at this point just call Uuber so I followed him for a little while.
Eric led me to a path along the busy street with no sidewalk. I knew that Eric was leading us into trouble so I tried to stop him. I said to him,"What are you doing? We need to call Uuber. We are not too far away from our car but we cannot walk to our car from here." Eric looked back at me and started screaming.
He started screaming at me and started to act aggressive. "Fuck you bitch! You are a fucking bitch. I know what I am doing. Fuck you!" He proceeded to turn away from me after verbally attacking me to step out into the busy road.
I yelled at Eric to stop and ran after him to grab him. By this time Eric was in the middle of the freeway basically. He was walking down this busy road with cars entering the freeway. All the while he was screaming,"Come on! I know where we are. I know where our car is from here. Hurry up! What the fuck are you doing? Quit standing there and follow me!"
I knew that this was an extremely dangerous situation. I knew that Eric's life was in danger and he was leading me into danger as well. I didn't know what to do so I did what I thought was right. I stepped out into that busy street, grabbed Eric and pulled him to safety. I pulled him to the side and said,"That's it. I am calling Uuber. I know where our car is but we are taking Uuber to get there."
Eric was extremely pissed now. I took complete control of the situation, first by knowing where our car was then by pulling Eric out of the street and now by calling Uuber. Eric was extremely upset and angry at me. He was literally livid, so mad that it turned violent.
I pulled out my phone to call for an Uuber. There was no way that I was going to try walking Eric back to our car in his condition. I mean the man had just literally stepped out into a busy freeway intersection and he dragged me along with him. I had given him enough control and now it was time for me to keep myself safe.
Eric saw me pull out my phone and he charged at me like a linebacker. He was screaming at me the entire time he charged saying,"Fuck you bitch. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! You are a fucking bitch. I fucking hate you. Fuck you! You need to fucking listen to me. I know where the fuck we are. Fuck you. You are a fucking bitch. Fuck you!" As he was charging me I just reacted. I did not plan on touching him. I didn't plan on pushing him. It just happened.
I knew Eric was going to put his hands on me. He was literally charging at me screaming at the top of his lungs. I had no choice but to defend myself but I did not even think about it when my hands shoved Eric to the ground. It was just a reaction. It was something that happened. My body reacted to the threat and after I pushed him and he fell I became frightened. I had just pushed a man to the ground on complete accident. I didn't mean to push him. It just happened. It was my reaction.
I know the law. I know that if you touch someone then it is assault. I got very scared that I would get arrested for shoving Eric away from me. I knew that all he was doing was charging me and cussing me out. He had not put his hands on me yet because he couldn't. I knew he would have smacked me or pushed me or really hurt me and what I did to protect myself was pure reaction and no thinking. My body reacted to the threat of physical abuse.
Eric didn't fall hard. He didn't even get hurt. Actually, he bounced right back up and started cussing me out again but this time he grabbed my arm while cussing me out. He had every word flying out of his mouth that a man could. In his drunken state there was no way that I could defend myself further. I was scared. Eric now had a grip on my arm and there was nothing more I could do.
Somehow I managed to get out from Eric. I know that I did not touch him again. I kept begging him to leave me alone and something inside of him let me go. I got on my phone to call Uuber and within a few minutes Eric and I found ourselves safe and on our way to our car.
More than anything I wanted to alert our Uuber driver to what had just happened. I wanted to tell so bad but I couldn't. Who would believe me? With Uuber Eric was being extremely nice. He was simply talking to the driver like nothing had happened. It was like him and the Uuber driver were best friends. Eric's personality literally switched like a light. I knew that if I spoke up and was not taken seriously then Eric would actually hurt me. I had to stay silent for my safety.
Well, we got to my car, said bye to Uuber and Eric's personality changed back to his old, nasty, drunk self. He was not the nice guy that the Uuber driver had seen. He was the same, nasty, evil, drunk monster from the game. Eric was even more nasty and mean than before I called for Uuber. He just had pure hate for me because he did not get his way. He was still mad at me for making us take Uuber and for me pulling him out of the freeway. He was fuming.
I reached in my pocket for my keys. I was going to drive my car home. First, it was my car and second, I was sober. Eric however, had other plans. He reached out for me and said,"give me the fucking keys. I am driving." I refused and told him,"No. You have been drinking. I am driving. I am sober and it is my car. I am driving. Get in the car and I am driving." Eric was not going to allow me to control another situation so he ripped my car keys out of my hand and got in the drivers seat.
I didn't know what to do. I had a couple options. I could have stayed right there on the side of the road and allowed Eric to take my car and drive it drunk or I could get in with him and try to talk him into pulling over and letting me drive. I didn't want Eric hurting someone so I got in the passengers side and did everything I could to talk Eric into pulling over.
People ask me why I did not call 911. I couldn't. My car has bluetooth and if I had called 911 it would have gone straight to bluetooth and Eric would have known that I was on the phone with the police. I wanted to call the police and trust me, 911 was on my mind. I tried to think of ways I could call 911 and not have my phone connect to bluetooth but I was too scared that somehow Eric would find out and I would really get it bad.
Eric had a charming way about him. He could fool anyone into thinking he was a good guy. He fooled many people. I tried to tell countless times that Eric was mean but no one took me seriously because they never, ever saw that cruel, abusive side of Eric. Everyone I told only knew the good, happy, charming, friendly Eric. Moments prior to this Eric also had the Uuber driver fooled into thinking he was a good man. Now, I didn't speak up when with Uuber but I knew that Uuber would not have believed me. Eric had police officers fooled as well in the past so if he could fool the police then no one would believe me. I really thought that there was no way I could get help because of Eric's other side, the good side.
Eric and I made it back to my place safely. I was so upset and angry and sad but I could not show it. I was forced to pretend that everything was okay. Eric also had a way of making everything sound as if it was my fault. I decided to put the blame on me for his bad behavior and call it a night. Blaming myself made my pain and suffering easier. It helped to just say that Eric's anger was all my doing. I knew it wasn't but it helped me to stay calm by putting the blame on me.
The following morning Eric ended up blaming me. He told me that if I had not just lost my dad and if I had not been so upset over the loss then he would not have had so much to drink. He said that my pain from losing my father was the reason for his drinking.
He blamed me for him having to cuss me out. He ended up telling me that he knew where to walk to the car and that I should not have pulled him out of the road. He said he ran at me and cussed me out because I pulled him away from the freeway. He really did not want to take Uuber. He wanted to walk to the car and he had a plan to get there. When I disrupted his plan he got angry.
He also said that he drank because I drank. He mentioned that I only had one glass of wine but he said that he had the right to drink because I had a glass too. Yeah, I had one glass of white wine. He had I don't know how many beers, shots and glasses of whatever. I did not even see him the entire game.
Eric also brought up that I make him upset when I don't allow him to drive. He knew that it was my car but he wanted full control. By the way, he drove my car like a bat out of hell. He knew it too and his excuse for his drunken driving was,"I was angry with you so I took your car, drove it drunk and crazy. I was angry. You made me mad so I decided to drive like that."
He was also upset at me for defending myself. He said that it is assault that I pushed him. I knew that it was assault because I put my hands on him first but it was not my fault. My body reacted. I did not think. Instinct took over. He was charging at me like a football linebacker and cussing me out. He was going to hurt me and my body reacted to the threat. If I could take back that shove I would. I did not want to push him but I really didn't have a choice.
All of this was only five days after my father had died of cancer. The football game was supposed to be a fun night where I could have a break from the loss of my father. I wanted to relax and get my dad's death off my mind but it ended up just becoming one of the worst nights of my life. It was horrible.